Head bowed and eyes to God
Recital hour of my heart
What’s my life’s mission?
Not my heart’s wishes but the love that I’m missing
The feeling of five minutes left on my test with blank scantron face down on my desk
Petitioning your throne for the answers and please don’t deny me
I know You have them
I picture You pointing towards a door with no knocker, no number
Or a trail leading to darkness
Implicitly you’ve equipped me with Psalms 23
Yet, feeling mocked explicitly
Was I built for the punches of Ali?
Will my mental agility carry me?
Was I born the Jordan of a sport not yet adorned?
Surely I wasn’t born to mourn…
Prayers deep and heavy,
Carrying the burdens of my thoughts.
I’m feeling…as if they’re not even reaching the ceiling
Yet I remain
I say I won’t complain but in all honesty
Doubt enters my brain.
I’ve learned to at least acknowledge that.
For even Jesus asked “why”, in fact.
And hung til the sun refused to shine
And if You let Him suffer to buffer my stripes,
I know that hill brings me healing
And surely this pain with which I’m dealing pales
I’m learning to trust You.
I just don’t want to fail.
I’m mining. help me reach my goals/golds.
Whatever it is You chose
Your will be done
Just let me know,